Walter looked a lot smarter.

And he was probably at least moderately intelligent at one point in his life. After all, he had managed to purchase a flight from Boston to London. So he either had already made his money, or some company thought he was worthy enough to be sent overseas. But he must have peaked early in life, because what I witnessed was about the biggest knuckle-headed move I had ever seen.

The passenger jet had two seats on either side, and about five seats across the middle. I was lucky to get a window seat. With no one yet seated near me, I was hoping the flight would be only partially full and my little two-seat row would become my personal living space. Soon, I watched a woman coming down the aisle, stopping near my seat and putting her carry-on bags in the overhead compartment above me. She was very pretty, and I was hoping she would sit down next to me. Now, I had no illusions about her (or anyone else) wanting to run off with me, frolicking in the rolling green hills of England. But if I was going to spend six hours on a plane, that is exactly the kind of passenger I wanted next to me (call me shallow). She, however, did not sit next to me. She pulled into the next row, into the seat directly behind me. Ok, well at least the seat next to me was still empty, and hopefully would remain so.

Then, down the aisle, came Walter. He took the aisle seat beside me. He was about my age (mid forties at the time), with average looks. A banker, maybe. He seemed aware of his surroundings at least. But after a brief greeting and introduction, I realized what a long flight this was going to be. Damn.

Then something unbelievable happened.

Almost like a rewind in a movie, this other beautiful woman walks down and stops in the aisle, puts her bag in the overhead, pulls out her boarding pass and says to Walter, “excuse me, but I think you’re sitting in my seat.” Walter pulls out his boarding pass, looks at it, looks up at the row numbers, glances behind him and then says “oh, sorry, I’m supposed to be in the seat behind me.” I could not believe my good fortune.

And then, something even more unbelievable happened.

Instead of jumping up and sliding his stupid ass at warp speed next to Beautiful Woman number 1 behind me, Walter sat there fumbling with his glasses and his computer bag and making way too much of an effort to unbuckle his seatbelt. In my mind, I had already grabbed the sloth by his sweater and thrown him over into the seat behind him. And then Beautiful Woman number 2, still standing in the aisle, finally says “well, if it’s easier for you, I’ll just sit in your seat if you want.” And then stupid, dopey, boneheaded, loser-of-the-year Walter says meekly:
  I looked over at Walter. I simply had no words. And that’s how I flew to London that day. Me and soon-to-be-deleted-from-his-gene pool Wally. But at Eastern Diagnostic Imaging, you will not see us fumbling around with our personal belongings when important things need to get done. We are the best refurbisher of x-ray equipment in the marketplace. We stand behind our equipment and our dealers.

Walter does not work at EDI. So… give us a call.

Gary Shaw 774-280-2449
Dan Bond 508-813-8727
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