Can Opener

You don’t always know what you’re going to get.

I never know what to expect in life. I could use the “Life is like a box of chocolates” reference if I were lazy. But I’m talking about real surprises. Like when I trusted my buddy, Kevin. But I told you that already in the last blog. So my analogy will be teeth. And a bidet. I don’t know where I’m going with this either.

Bulls Eye.

I had no idea what a bidet was. I had never seen one before and had no clue of its purpose. But there it was, in a hotel in Tokyo, sitting there looking back at me, mouth agape, as if it had never seen an American. So I did what any dumbass would do. I leaned over and grabbed the handle-looking-thing and turned it to see what would happen. What did not happen was that the suspected toilet for small people flushed, as I had guessed. What did happen was that mini fire hose, lurking somewhere in that porcelain predator, exploded into my otherwise curious looking face. It got me right in the eye. At that instant, since I am not a slow minded person, the purpose of a bidet became abundantly clear. However, I am still befuddled as to why an eye wash station would be a necessary appliance in Japan. Maybe it’s the smog.


There was a girl who worked the hot dog stand during summers on the cape. She was local, and she was stunningly attractive. I was neither. But I was captivated by her. She always had this shy, innocent grin that I felt was hiding even more beauty. One night, I was out on the beach and I could not believe my good fortune when I found her sitting there, alone. And I sat down, looked into her eyes and, impulsively, I kissed her. And then I felt something that launched me skyward like grease from a hot frying pan. She was missing a front tooth. That was even worse than getting shocked by Kevin’s car battery (the bidet incident would happen years later). I don’t know about you, but to me a full set of choppers are mandatory accessories when it comes to making out. No wonder she had only grinned at me. To this day that girl lives in my head as Can-opener, the moniker I (shamefully) bestowed upon her that day. And to make matters worse, Can-opener’s brother beat me up a week later, at the exact same spot on the beach, presumably for kissing on the little pumpkin. At least I had the good sense not to tell him just how horrifying that was. I like to think that she eventually got her teeth fixed and went on to become a super model. That would have made a better story, and it would have saved me some therapy. But anyway, like I said, you don’t always know what you’re going to get.
But at Eastern Diagnostic Imaging, you do know what you’re going to get. We consistently provide the best remanufactured x-ray equipment in the marketplace. We have many years of experience, and we have the best and most cost-effective solutions for your customers’ x-ray needs. At EDI we stand behind our equipment and our dealers. Our goal is customer satisfaction. We believe that by doing our job well, we will make your job easier.
There is nothing hidden here. No squirt guns, no car batteries. We have all our front teeth, mostly paid for. From EDI, you know what you’re going to get! Give us a call. You won’t be disappointed.